The reason why Gran Turismo 4 kicks more ass than any Forza to come:

Engine Modifications > Body Modifications

New Comic

Since unfunny comic strips based on christmas and gaming are the hot new thing, I thought I'd give it a whirl. Here's mine:

Sony sucks cock.

Today I decided it's finally time to call sony and have them fix my BitchStation3 and pay them the ridiculous amount of $150. While that is bullshit enough, they revealed to me that they are no longer supporting the 40GB version of the PS3. Great. Just fucking great. I was planning on getting a processor for christmas, but it appears that I have to get a new fucking ps3 just to play GTA IV. Thank's a lot sony.

Matt.

Macs are fucking horrible.

Please read this if you are deciding if you should buy a Mac or a PC:

MAC SUCKS.

Macintosh is by far, the worst piece of technology that has ever surfaced this earth. There are so many flaws, I think I'll begin on:

1. Compatibility

Just by looking at the damn thing you can already see a major flaw: NO UPGRADEABLE MONITOR. I mean with PC, you get a pretty shitty monitor, but at least you can change the damn thing. With Mac, if you want a bigger screen or if the screen is broke, you are fucked. You are royally fucked. Your only options are: A. Get a new Mac (Prices start at about $1,000) B. Bring it in a technician (If you want to deal with more bullshit) or C. Die. These options are limited to some, though. Limited places sell Macs, not many technicians will even look at the fucking thing, and you will probably commit suicide over the distress the damn thing is causing you.

1A. Games

This thing is a horrible gaming system. The fucker can barely run solitare! When it all comes down to it, this thing is not designed for games. It's actual design is for Jeff Goldblum to compare the price of a mac to a fucking pizza. To be brutally honest, it sucks even more than what I told you. I don't own one, I couldn't tell you.

1B. Hardware

Imagine putting a video card in this thing! You have to tear the back fucking cover off, rip the motherboard, and figure out that your video card isn't compatible with the "iMac G3". I have searched high and dead bottom for a Mac complacent video card. I didn't find jack shit.

1C. Software

Internet Explorer, CCleaner, Windows Media Player. What do all of these have in common? THEY DON'T WORK ON MAC. Ho ho, and believe me, this is 1/9999999999999 of what your precious Mac can't handle.

I tried running Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas on a Mac. It spit the damn game out and told me "Syntax Error. Software D:// is not compatible with Mac OS/X. Sorry!". They just had to put that stupid "Sorry!" at the end just to piss people off. Why the hell can't games work with Mac? They claim that you can play "the worlds greatest games" on Mac. If low end flash games are the best games in the world then I guess the Mac lives up to its gaming potential. I've heard rumors that it's possible to run Windows XP on Mac. I looked into this and found out that, yes, you indeed have the option of running XP on a Mac! Here are the "small" requirements:
iMac GSX3 Deluxe Edition ($3,999)

Windows XP program ($199)

Balls (Should come with if you are Male. If they didn't, blame your doctor and/or conjoined twin)

First of all, who would buy a $4,000 computer (that can't run Crysis, mind you)? The only reason I would ever spend that much on a computer is if I got some of that money back. Maybe even then I wouldn't get a computer that much.

2. Operating System

OS/X sucks.

Thanks,

Matt.

"Polar Bears will die if global warming continues". So?

What the hell did a Polar Bear ever do for me except make a damn good burger? This is Earth. There are more animals than there are us. There will always be more animals than us. There will always be more food, but unfortunately, there will always asshat hippies who will bitch about the environment which will probably disintegrate in about 10,000 years. Besides, who gives a shit what a polar bear thinks?:

They're useless. The only thing the human race could use it for is meat to feed to the dogs, not to mention Golden Retrievers, that is. Thanks for reading this rant, and to all hippies: NO ONE GIVES A RATS ASS ABOUT THE POLAR BEARS.

Thanks,

Matt.

Al Gore is a fat dick who thinks he cares about the environment.

This asshat named Al Gore thinks he's tough shit about the Environment. He claims that "global warming" is happening everyday and heating up the earth. No shit. Seriously, who didn't fucking know that besides a fat old man who loves heat? Also, he thinks that "the polar bears are suffering". Again, who the fuck cares? What the hell did polar bears ever do for society except make a damn good burger? Hell, I like global warming. I fucking love it, except that it would suck living down south. Wouldn't life be better 60 degrees warmer? Anyways thanks for reading this rant, this one seemed shorter than usual, and there's no picture, but as quoted by me: "Who the fuck cares?"

Thanks,

Matt.

Bill O' Reilly is a fucking pussy.

He's a fucking pussy. When I saw a kid owning him on his own show, and all he was doing was defending his show and not his well being, I realized that Bill O' Reilly wouldn't last 1 day in a political office of any kind. He wouldn't even make a good lobbyist! I mean have you ever seen the asshole's show? He thinks that Obama has a nuclear bomb for a penis and is ready to launch at will (No joke). Also, this asshole's a vegetarian, which means he doesn't like bacon. This is the ultimate reason why he is an annoying pussy and a hack.

Thanks,

Matt.

"XD" is the stupidest fucking Internet abbreviation ever.

What the hell is the point of "XD"? I know that the X is supposed to represent the eyes and the D is a disambigulation for the mouth. I can understand that the D is supposed to be the mouth but the eyes are an x. AN X? They couldn't think of anything other than a fucking X? Seriously, what the hell? A lot of my friends use this "meme" (or so it's called) to show a happy, laughing mood or phase, but sometimes they kick themselves in the balls for using it because they realize that "XD" doesn't look like a person laughing at all. If you look at it counterclockwise it looks like a cock with a bow-tie, take a look:



The people who use this "meme" also must be either retarded, or a pedophile (92% Retarded, 8% pedo). I forgot to mention earlier: [sic] is the stupidest fucking thing anyone could ever write on anything. What's the point of writing the letters s, i, and c within brackets just to explain something? To use the disambigulation [sic], your reasoning must be changed because if you use [sic] and fully intend it, you're an asshat.

Thanks,

Matt.